Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she pinky promised me she was 18
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
