the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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