dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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