Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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