Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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