My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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