Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
