Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
a search helicopter?!
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
