Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
