But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
did i just pee glitter
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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