shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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