Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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