I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize