Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
