This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
