Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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