You really coming over, don't trick.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
