yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
