It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
