Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize