he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
