Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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