I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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