There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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