remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
