party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
