i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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