Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
