btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
