What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
