porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
