Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
