therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
