the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Randomize
