I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
