idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
