I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
...so i touched it.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
