think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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