so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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