I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
