just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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