I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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