Umm I'm too high to move.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
