id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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