what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
