why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
