There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Boobs speak an international language.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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