i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
my being single is dangerous.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
