On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
