so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
