A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
