so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
