So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
