We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
