The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
