3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
