i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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