I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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