gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He keeps bees of course he's weird
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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