i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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