sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
