that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
