we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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