508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
